I don't know if this will work, and I don't really care. Twenty-three years to work to a fall. As Michael said I don't want to set the curve too steep or I'll just tumble back down.

It's even difficult to even tell if I'm in school anymore. It's the structure I miss, and that drove me to cope. The same thing that made me a neurotic, pacing idiot, but it got me through the day and all the years before. Ironically, it also made me less self-obsessed. I guess we have to start from somewhere.

Hopefully, next time I'll have seen more people, and I can end this endless string about my problems. Talk about something that happened during the day or some crackpot new theory I've heard about. And possibly have Beyonce - "Halo" scrubbed from my brain.

***

Developing that sinking feeling again when I know there's more to it than people are letting on. Will and Joseph are making this way too strange. I'm used to being on the outside looking in. Glass barrier firmly in between us.

Keith